Sunday, October 4, 2009

The Chris Post

My dear friend Edie is of the opinion that The Inman Series will just not be complete without a Chris Post. So I begged my family to write stuff about me. Then the waiting began. Karen--she was ON it:

I don't think Mom and Dad realized there were nights we didn't go to sleep right away. I remember one night we camped out in a little cave/den thing Chris somehow made by the way our bed frames were situated. Chris put the bookshelf under there too and a little seat/bed fashioned out of blankets. We hung out there one night and slept there.

Something I thought was cool was when I came to high school. Chris graduated before I started my freshmen year, but she left me a reputation before I got there. She talked about me in band a lot, but in a good way. She said I was super cool and told all the guys I could beat them up. And they seemed to believe her when I got there. It was nice to be a freshmen and already have some coolness.
One thing everyone seems to have a knack for is confusing the two of us. A stranger once asked us if we were twins. We do look similar, but twins? Typically, I'm the one who is confused for being Chris. Or people tell me I look like my sister. After we sang a song together in church someone told me I sounded like my sister. I get annoyed because I just want people to know who it is they're talking to. Don't you know I can break your face? Get my name right! I'm just looking for competence in other people, but it's really not bad getting confused for someone like Chris.
Chris is someone who I can be laid back with and just be myself. I sometimes am too quiet and hide who I am. Chris can break me out of my shell. We both act really goofy when we're around each other. It's just that only kind of goofiness you can get with a sister.

* * * *

Then my mother, the Writer, told me she was working on it. She told me she'd do it by Thursday, by Friday, hey-maybe next Tuesday. Ah, the intimidation of the blank text box! However, she did not disappoint:

Chris. Social. She likes to go places. Was frequently known to say, "Where are we going to GO toda y?" as a little girl.
On being "Mommy's Helper". "Mommy, the baby was crying," as she carried out her four-week-old sister. She was 4 ½ yrs old. !!!! "Give Mommy the baby, honey. Next time just come tell me when she's crying."
On bedtime. "Chris, stop talking and go to sleep." It never worked. She just talked faster.
On clothes. She would change outfits numerous times a day, leaving piles of clothes strewn about the house. (preschool and kindergarten)
On amusement parks. "See that highest water slide, Mom? Yeah, the one that's almost completely vertical. I just went down that." !!! (high school?)
(Okay, I'm changing to first person here, and I know it.)
On having children. I really appreciate that you wanted me to be with you when Chandler was born. I d on't know if you needed the moral support or if you did it for my benefit. Since the three of you (you, David, and Karen) were born by C-section, and I was completely unconscious, I missed the whole birth experience. That made it even more meaningful to be there when Chandler was born and be one of the first to see his little face as he popped out. :^)
I didn't think I was ready to be a grandmother when Chandler came along, but it really is as great as all the other grandparents say. I feel kinda sorry for my friends who are my age and don't have grandchildren. I can tell some of them wish they did when they hug on my grandkids. :^) And I love it when I run into people around town and can say, "Oh, yes, we have four grandchildren now."

* * * *

Then The Real Waiting began. Oh boys, boys. How I waited for them. Finally when I could stand it no longer, I wrote them an email:

Subject: Calling InMen

Good evening gentlemen. I need to know if I'm waiting on articles that are actually forthcoming. Please respond to this email so I know if I can go ahead and write the Chris post or if I should wait for any of y'all.

I understand that you might:

A) be busy
B) be uninterested
C) be uncertain of your writing ability
D) be emotionally unable to express your deep and abiding love for the wonder that is me.

If any or all of these apply to you, I won't hold it against you. My feelings will not be hurt. Just please let me know, because I'm having blog readers surmise that I've run off to Las Vegas rather than continue the tedious task of writing. (Really, somebody s aid that.)
Let me know!

* * * *

I waited a little longer. My dad said "Sorry -- forgot (that wasn't on your list). Can't send anything this morning ... I'll try to ponder further ....D." My brother picked one of the options I listed, but he didn't tell me which one. Still I waited. I started feeling like I was just putting it off. I thought perhaps I should just move on to other things, new topics, and come back to The Chris Post when I got a chance. Then I got an email from my dad today and I rejoiced. Woohoo!

But then tragedy struck. Like many Dad projects, he made it harder than it had to be. He painstakingly crafted a lovely flow chart depicting who I am. Witty. Creative. Impossible to upload? Thank goodness I have geeky friends, or none of us would be seeing it right now:

Matt says it's the perfect representation of me. So I guess now you know. And we'll never know what David would've said, but that's okay. Seeing as how he frequently capitalizes on his brotherly right to make fun of me, you might not be missing all that much.

Technically, I'll be finishing the Inman Series with a brief post about our dog Abigail (she's smart AND beautiful). I was planning on moving on to her whilst I waited for the Chris Post to come together, but that was vetoed on the strength of the argument that I am much more important, more relevant, more...sparkly than the dog. Boo-ya, Abigail.


edie said...

You have my undying gratitude for putting yourself before the dog. (Gee, that's something I'd never hoped to have to say to a person.)

Thank you, InMen, for your contribution to this beloved and insightful series.


Anonymous said...

I actually found the flowchart to be much easier than prose, and (might I humbly add) a much clearer form to communicate the "essence of Chris." Since Matt agrees that it's an accurate rendering, I am satisfied with my submission.


Chris said...

I am also satisfied with your submission--more than satisfied. My only difficulty was in making it play nice. Like right now, for instance, when it's not showing up on my computer at all...but is on Edie's computer. What in the world's up with that??

Edie says it's either Incompetent Blogspot's fault or Evil Computer's fault.

Unfortunately, I don't have time to look into it further this morning as we have Kindermusik soon.

Fortunately, Edie is my personal computer guru. Perhaps she can tame the savage beast.

edie said...

I think the savage beast has been tamed. Or at least it is playing nice for me now here in my cozy abode after much finagling. I am going to leave town, not necessarily because I fear its wrath - truth be know, I do - but because a prior engagement calls me away. Until duty summons me again, I remain your resolute computer geek. (slump)


Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

Oh Chris... you just make me love you more and more.

And I'm really happy you didn't run off to Vegas. I mean, without me.

I love the flow chart. It just speaks volumes all on it's own.

Also. I laughed really hard about the dog comment at the end. I will be waiting my computer to see the dog... and could you please, for my sake snap a photo of the new hair? It's killing me, this waiting... A girl needs a visual you know?

thanks ever so.