Saturday, November 22, 2008

The morning after

It's so tough to reconcile how I look in pictures with how I think I look. You know, usually I'm not the least bit self-conscious about my looks. In fact, I'm more confident than I've been for a long time, perhaps because I'm finally not pregnant. But then I'll see a picture of myself, and I suddenly feel *reeeaaally* uncool. Like no matter how sure I was that I looked great at the time, the camera reveals those angles that I can't see when looking dead on in the mirror and I realize that I really am a mom of four kids.

I know it doesn't really matter, and I hate it when girls obsess about their bodies and "being fat" ESPECIALLY when they're not. I guess I was used to being pretty and...differently shaped...for a long time. I've even decided that I much prefer having a little more weight than I used to. I look at my high school pictures and do not envy that skinny girl. She had no shape and no confidence (despite the skinny-ness). But how frustrating. I had such a wonderful time at the dance, and I was convinced that I looked nice. And then *one* picture that somebody posted on facebook makes me feel frumpy. Stupid, stupid me. Or as Matt would say, stupid, stupid facebook. And then he'd probably go on to say "See? this is why you shouldn't do facebook. Some punk posts an unflattering picture and you fall all to pieces, like it actually matters...(continue ranting and raving.)" I know. It just makes me wary to leave the house thinking I look decent. And what's the alternative? Skulking around always thinking I look frumpy? Yeah, that sounds like fun. I think I'd much rather have been fooling myself.

Ah well, I'm a pretty positve person. I'm sure I'll bounce back. You can't keep this mom of four down for long.

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